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Boomer's Survival Guide: When Your Life Goes Boom
By
Deborah Uetz
As you
are booming along, enjoying the freedom that comes with watching your
children grow up and leave the nest you may find yourself in a brand
new role…care giver. More than four and a half million Americans suffer
from Alzheimer’s Disease. Most of those afflicted are parents of baby
boomers. Do you have any idea what you can do if you find yourself looking
out for a parent with dementia?
First
Things First
If you
notice a parent behaving in a way that is out of character take notice.
Everybody loses their train of thought or forgets where they have parked
the car on a crowded parking lot. If, however they cannot remember what
kind of a car they were driving or they seem more irritable and confused
than usual perhaps they should be seen by their doctor. There are several
health issues which can cause a person to “not be themselves”. A Dr.
can rule out blood sugar fluctuations, depression, stress (although
each of these can be present along with Alzheimer’s Disease.) A good
check up is the place to begin. If the Dr. agrees that something is
amiss he will probably recommend a Neurologist follow-up. It is essential
that symptoms of Alzheimer’s not be dismissed.
After The
Diagnosis If your parent is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease you will
need to educate yourself about the disease. Read, read, read. If you
have access to a computer get online and find Alzheimer’s forums. Once
in a forum you will find yourself in the company of other boomers who
are helping their loved one make it through the mist. Ask them what
works and what doesn’t. Ask them about behaviors if things are escalating.
The Alzheimer’s Association, your hospitals local Social Services Department
and online forums like Ask Dutchy will equip you with information and
a sense of direction.
Can You
Do It Alone? If you are going to be the primary care giver for someone
you will need help. Without help you will find yourself suffering from
exhaustion, frayed nerves, isolation and sleep deprivation. It is certainly
possible to care for an Alzheimer’s sufferer in your home but there
will be times when you need a time out. You will need time away from
the house to shop, do your banking, take a walk, be with friends, etc.
As the disease takes more of your loved ones independence they will
come to depend upon you for their safety, hygiene, food, grooming and
protection. You will need to build a team.
Where Do
I Find A Team? Your team can include your parent’s friends and neighbors
who can provide much needed social contact. If you have siblings ask
them to join you for a family meeting. Do this before things become
a crisis. Your team can include an Adult Daycare setting in your community
where your loved one can enjoy activities while you enjoy some free
time. Get creative when planning your team.
Know Your
Limits If you are reaching a point where you feel as if you have no
life you may have reached your limit to care for your loved one. Are
you experiencing stress, sleeplessness, do you startle easily and find
it hard to concentrate? These may be signs of care giver burnout. If
you can no longer keep up with the demand and the illness has escalated
to a point where your loved one needs 24 hour a day care it is time
to look for an alternative. Assisted Living communities and nursing
homes are possible alternatives. If you do decide to find a placement
for your parent please do the homework. Learn everything there is to
know about the facility. Don’t go on blind faith.
Deborah
Uetz Author of Into the Mist B.S. Education, online support monitor,
E-Zine expert
Deborah
Uetz
Author of Into the Mist
B.S. Education, online support moderator, E-Zine expert