NURSING HOME SITE - ADULT RETIREMENT COMMUNITIES SITE

Active Baby Boomers

When An Adult Child Becomes The Parent

Is anybody really ready for their lives to turn upside down, when parents need help and the adult child steps in.

My memories of my grandparents are very vivid. They were wonderful grandparents. But one day life takes a slide backwards and age catches up.

My grandparents who use to live in their own home and maintain all the aspects of their lives were uprooted and moved to their daughters home.

My grandparents still very much in control of their own lives in some areas but in others not anymore.

 

My mother as their loving daughter roles became reversed. She wasn't ready for this change in status. Suddenly she became the parent and they became her trusting children.

When my grandparents argued they wanted to use their own sheets blankets, and bedspread on their new bed my mother couldn't understand why. There were perfectly good sheets and blankets already on the bed. But what they needed was home. They wanted something familar. My mother came to understand this.

 

But how do you prepare yourself for the day your life turns upside down. How can you treat your parents now your charges like children. When you have to take care of their personal needs.

There was no classes thirty years ago when all this happened. You just had to learn as you went along.

My mother was confused and definitely not ready for this change. She had to make medical and financial decisons for them.

My grandparents migrated from Russia before the first world war. They were married sixty-five years. I loved to listen to them argue. Never fight. Just pick, pick, pick.

They always did everything together. My grandmother cooked. My grandfather helped. They both made their bed every morning.

Thankfully, they were both in good health up until the end. They always were coherant and never were violent. They both lived into their late 90's.

My mother was lucky she had family that lived close by to help. But my grandparents as they came to rely on my mother would not accept help from other family members. They were comfortable with her and would not accept help from others.

This put a huge burden on my mother. She was working full time while making sure her parents were comfortable and safe. She couldn't travel or leave home for longer than a weekend.

Towards the end of my grandparents lives they couldn't walk. The care became physically to much for her. My grandfather became sick and ended up in the hospital. He was so upset with being placed into the hospital he never spoke to my mother again.

My mother was a special person. She loved and kept her parents comfortable and safe until they both passed away. I never heard her complain.

Today when the grandparents are living with family members it is rare. Many are sent to nursing or convalescent homes. To make that heart wrenching decision is hard on the family but sometimes that is the only option.

I am getting older and it scares me to think that someday my children will have to do for me what my mother did for her mother. I hope, I don't fight them on this. Nobody can predict the future.

Let me hear from you about your experiences on this article or about any of my articles.

My mother was a wonderful strong woman with a big heart. I am her daughter and I hope I can make her proud. Linda is an author of her first published book "Ghost Kids Trilogy," a first of its kind adventure childrens book. 3 books in 1 book. Love, Family Values, and Charity burst off the pages. Book 1: Ghost Kids: 2 real children and 2 Ghost Kids team up to send them back to their parents. Book 2: Blue Vase Mystery: Uncle Charlie the villain of the book wants out of a magical blue vase. In exchange he will tell the children where pirates' treasure is hidden. Book 3: Pirates' Treasure-the hunt: The children hunt for pirates treasure.

Check my website http://members.cox.net/ghostkids and email lmecky@tns.net Order my book at http://www.amazon.com or http://www.buybooksontheweb.com Infinity Publishing. With a purchase of 5 books you get a 40% discount. With a purchase of 20 books or more free postage and handling.